The Day They Killed My Dream

Have you ever been fired? I have…

And let me tell you it felt like someone killed me.

Here’s the story,

I had a very important job working for an up and coming wireless company (no longer in business). It was a big job. I was in responsible for opening 3 retail locations, along with hiring and training the managers and staff. My charge was to select the malls, negotiate the leases, design the stores, manage the build-out, hire the managers & train them.

I loved it! Every minute of it. Except for the nagging pain in my neck – that was my boss.

I was a 40 years old with over 15 years of management experience and used to a lot of autonomy. He was a 29 years old in his first management position, barely out of graduate school.

To say he was a micro-manager would be an understatement.

I did my best to humor him, but mostly I just did my work and tried to impress him with my excellence. I figured he see how awesome I was and leave me alone. After all, no one else could do the job the way I was doing it and I knew I was making him look good.

The stores I was building, the teams I was hiring, and the plans I was making were amazing. I was invested in my work emotionally, physically and mentally – morning, noon, and night!

And then the ax fell on my head. I woke up on a crisp sunny Tuesday morning one  week before Thanksgiving. It was crunch time because the flagship store on exclusive Newberry Street in Boston, was set to open on Black Friday. We were planning a huge gala event there was still a lot to do.

I  jumped into my company car, and drove 40 minutes to my office. As I sped along, I made a series of phone calls, making sure that my team and the contractors were all “on the job” doing their important work.  This upcoming “grand opening” was my baby and I was going to make sure nothing went wrong.

As soon as I arrived at the office, I noticed an eerie feeling…The receptionist at the front desk said “Janet, Daniel (my boss) wants you to meet him in the conference room.”

Have you ever walked into a room, expecting one thing and finding a totally different experience? It’s like a “surprise party”, when you think you’re visiting someone and a whole group jumps up and yells “surprise!”

Yes, that’s what it was like – except that this group, sitting around the conference table, all just looked at me in silence…dead silence!

And then they killed my dream!

I’m not sure who said what. I don’t know what words were spoken. All I know is that a decision was made. I no longer worked for the company…blah, blah, blah!

And in my head a resounding “NO”. This can’t be real. This can’t be happening. This isn’t possible.

Blackness.

I can’t begin to describe the emptiness. But that’s not the point of this story.

What is important is that the universe  throws us curve balls and when it does we go into shock. Everyone experiences this at different times throughout a lifetime.

How does one go on when their dream is shattered? In the big scheme of things, losing a job is nothing, compared with a losing a loved one….

But, in some ways it is a death. For me, it was the death of the “me” that I had created…

Letting go of that identity wasn’t easy.

And it only in hindsight that I truly see that for something new to grow, something had to die. Yes, that dream job had to die in order for me to embark on a new path that led me where I am today. Did I know that then? No and it hurt and it was my first big life crisis.

I now see the part I played in creating that situation – Did “they” do that to me or was there something “in me” that did it? Yes, something was not right and deep inside knew it – I guess you could say that my soul knew it. Together with the universe, we create our reality. And when things are not as they should be, the universe has a way of putting challenges in our life. What this really meant was that I needed to shift gears because my heart & soul were not in alignment with my head that was telling me that something was right for me when it really wasn’t.

The truth is that I went on a different path into a better job where my heart, soul, body and mind were in alignment.

Did that happen easily or smoothly? Not at all. It took me some time to grieve, to feel angry and to blame others. What I know now is that it was a process – and one that I’ve had to go more than once. But as I have become more in tune with my essential self, or soul, I am able to get through these transitions with more faith and hope. Because I can honestly say that there has always been something better on the other side of a broken dream.

If you need a word of encouragement or just someone to listen, I am here. eMail me at  janet@thefreedomshift.com or call my cellphone 508 641-1142

Sending you Love & Light. Remember, the universe is unfolding as it should.

See you next week!

Janet 

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